As a youth, I felt the Holy Spirit's presence on many occasions and was
a confirmed, nominal Methodist. However, I was not yet saved.
Years later, on 6 April, 1986, I attended a service at Christ Church (Church of England) in Kenilworth, Cape Town, South Africa. Everyone seemed to vanish before me in the service. The Presence of Jesus was manifest. It seemed as if there were only two persons in the building - God and me. That night, something miraculous and deep occurred. I truly found myself before Jesus Christ and the cross. I received His atonement for my sins. I was truly brought by God to the place of repentance, a place which one cannot bring oneself by self effort. My idols - the important things in my life - were left at His feet. From that day onwards, I knew that the road that I was taking in life was forever changed. I knew that His plan was different. Much hardship lay ahead. However, from that day forward, I knew that He was truly my Lord and Savior and that He would be with me always, even in difficult times.
Shortly afterwards, I was baptised in the Holy Spirit and spoke in tongues. In obedience to His prompting, I was baptised in water in an Assemblies of God church in the Eastern Cape, fulfilling the foundational doctrines as stated in Hebrews 6.
Golden Nugget: Often young people make the mistake of following their own ambitions in life. They seldom leave everything - their past, present and future - at the cross, nor prayerfully seek His face for His plan for their lives. Often this self life surfaces in our Christian walk as well. There is a price to pay if we take this road. Let us learn from Peter. When he was young, his self-life was dominant. As he grew older, he died more to self, following the way of the cross. Let us crown the cross in our lives.
As a young Christian, my faith and relationship toward Jesus Christ was
simple and childlike. Most importantly, Jesus became more and more precious
every day and His manifest presence was there.
Afterwards, I devoured a wide selection of Christian books and became a close follower of the Word-faith movement: Kenneth Copeland, Kenneth Hagin, Charles Capps, Freddie Price, and others. I listened to tapes, read books, spent all that I had on material and enrolled at a Charismatic Bible School (one of the best I might add) - which I completed some time afterward by correspondence - a 3 year ministerial training diploma. I clapped, danced and was a very radical and committed Charismatic being involved in street evangelism.
A few years later, I come to a place where I realised that I had lost the closeness and Presence of Jesus in my life that was present in the beginning. I realised that those around me and the authors of Christian books - leading teachers - did not have clarity concerning this. In fact, this was missing in their lives too. Occasionally, this concern and shortcomings of the Charismatic movement did surface in the writings of leading teachers.
On the surface, everything seemed bliss. Daily growing in the Word of God and the things of God. However, an iceberg lay beneath the surface. Only a hunger to know Him deeply could bring me to forsake this - lay it at the cross - and to take a desolate, untravelled road in the wilderness. The problem was deeper than having simply neglected my relationship with Jesus and having become unbalanced - too much of the Word and too little of the Holy Spirit. The iceberg - of which two thirds lies beneath the surface - was the doctrine being taught. The whole Charismatic movement seemed to have taken this unstable and religious road. They became unbalanced and the movement had backslidden.
At this point, I stopped attending a home cell group of a very well-known Charismatic church in Pretoria.
I entered the wilderness of God. Just as Apostle Paul was schooled by the Spirit in Arabia, so I was schooled by the Lord during this period. Revelation abounded. As my personal relationship with Jesus Christ was restored and His Presence manifested, I realised how far the church has backslidden. Charismatic doctrines have become unbalanced. Truth that many held centuries ago has been forgotten. Truly the days of living Laodicea are here.
A few years after this occurred in my life, leaders such as Benny Hinn and Pastor Ed Roebert had identical changes in their ministries.
Pastor Ed Roebert's last few years of ministry were different. He was following the Charismatic move and then the change came. The praise and worship changed. Hatfield went into a time of revival. This was due to the work of the Spirit in his life. He even spoke of Jeanne Guyon and what was being revealed to him at the time. He said a few years before he went to be with the Lord that he was like Moses looking over the promised land from the mountain. He saw the promised land. And like Moses, he died. Others will lead in the coming move of God.
Similarly, Benny Hinn was in trouble. He was publicly chastised by leaders for unbalanced doctrine. This was the Word-faith teachings which are accepted in Charismatic circles. Then the change came. He changed. His ministry became gentler. He, too, spoke of Jeanne Guyon and her influence. His ministry changed from that time. I was very interested in this as exactly the same change took place in my life.
I realised that the call to which I responded - REVELATION 3:20 - was a world-wide call by the Holy Spirit to the church.
A few years after He had restored me, I realised that Jeanne Guyon had also discovered the same truth centuries ago and that her work 'Experiencing the depths of Jesus Christ' would be instrumental in this wilderness restoration.
Thirty years have passed and the articles on this web site are based on revelation that has emerged during this time.